i'm abandoning this blog :)
relink!
http://saystheonewiththegun.blogspot.com/

okay fine, it's sort of noob too, but at least you ain't typing "feelmyheart-cry" which is plain noob!!! zzzzzzz LOL. i decided to change it.... (more details at the new blog)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSLYN (before i forget again)
stay black, cheerful, and always laughy (?)

and adam lambert's version of no boundaries is pro.

"一个人　眺望碧海和蓝天
在心里面　那抹灰就淡一些
海豚从眼前飞跃
我看见了最阳光的笑脸
好时光都该被宝贝　因为有限
　　　　
我学着不去担心得太远
不计划太多　反而能勇敢冒险
丰富地过每一天　快乐的看每一天
Wooh～
第一次遇见阴天遮住你侧脸
有什么故事好想了解
我感觉我懂你的特别
　　　　　
你的心有一道墙　但我发现一扇窗
偶尔透出一丝暖暖的微光
就算你有一道墙
我的爱会攀上窗台盛放
打开窗你会看到悲伤融化
　　　　
我学着不去担心得太远
不计划太多　反而能勇敢冒险
丰富地过每一天　快乐的看每一天
Wooh～
第一次遇见阴天遮住你侧脸
有什么故事好想了解
我感觉我懂你的特别
　　　　
你的心有一道墙　但我发现一扇窗
偶尔透出一丝暖暖的微光
就算你有一道墙
我的爱会攀上窗台盛放
打开窗你会看到悲伤融化
　　　　　
你的心有一道墙　但我发现一扇窗
偶尔透出一丝暖暖的微光
就算你有一道墙
我的爱会攀上窗台盛放
打开窗你会看到悲伤融化
你会闻到幸福晴朗的芬芳"

- 郭静，心墙

omg. this song is super nice :) the lyrics is very exquisite, and i guess that's what i really appreciate about chinese songs. English songs have probably better beat, and music, but chinese beats english songs in lyrics hands down HAHA. but i'll be sticking with english, there are more varieties/genres of music to choose from? Chinese revolves about the same few melancholy ones i think, or some electronic ones that i cannot stand hahaha (even though i'm sitting down). i can't imagine "I Don't Care" by Fall Out Boy in chinese right? LOL. super weird too. chinese is less rebellious bah? i'm a january person, so i'm rebellious aquarius~ LOLLLL.

something random: isn't it weird about those so-called yearly horoscopes, when experts start talking about the year of the monkey, chicken, dog whatever? i mean, seriously, i used to think its crap, and i still think it is now -.- see, let's say the experts say that the people born in the year of the chicken are getting realllllly bad results, and will suck in studies. and then you think again: wait, isn't everyone in our year included? -.- that's the idiotic part sia, so the whole year 4 will fail tgt because our horoscope 犯太岁? HAHA. the funny part is that i'm born in the year of the monkey! :D

another randomness: birthday horoscopes. i think it's more believable, though still not... that believable -.- LOL. i believe because things seem to work out like that sometimes, but horoscopes are always vague, so believers will probably just relate to it in every single way :X but i think the description of aquarius does describe me and my friend qianhui in ways.. still, i'm not believing :X i believe in self-belief LOLLLL. even if i pray hard for something, in the end i have to work hard for it mah XD gods, to me, are beacons(?) of hope for people who lack self-belief :) like if you don't believe in yourself, believe your god you entrusted your hope to, and you will really work hard for it! really, no offense okay! :X

anyways, i have switched my comp on, for ... 3 consecutive days! damn shocking, i didn't expect myself to be using the comp for the whole of today.. but anyway! i did math like crazy, finished most of the ws, and i think angles really gg la. -.- i should get a good rest today, so tmr won't fall asleep in lessons :) somehow i feel that i'm finally breaking out from the slacking mood already!

FSC KIDSSSS:(

OMGGG. lee min ho is so cute. XDD he fell down hahahahaha! i guess he must be feeling really nervous, but whatever it is, he has seriously, very very very long legs. and thanks to this video, i'm ready to continue watch BOF, and let ftly at one side first (:

anyways, e-learning was hardcore SLACKING. i woke up at 7 plus, then i went back to sleep till 930 before i really woke up and switched the comp on!! :S LOL. i expected myself to be an early bird XDD in the end i was watching FTLY like hell(: till like 5 in the afternoon, then i printed all those important stuff to be done :X HAHA. so i did them on paper lor! CID i just did it :)

i did quite a lot leh! i did.. english, chinese, math a bit but not all, bio duno can do what, chemistry i study liao! :D

wanted to post about sth that happened in february, emo post, but i guess i just have to stop thinking about it? :X

i feel super proud of myself, i didn't sleep at all for the past two daysssssssssss!

okay, that's not too much :X but i'm usually the first few to fall dead onto the table, seriously.. so i think it's a good effort to stay awake.. even during the killer lessons i.e. geography!

mmhmm. hoping to go home early today but i failed terribly HAHAHA. stayed back and ate with jiarong and eve, then eve went to do hwk, and then xinmun came along, and talk talk talk yapyapyap, then xm went to do hwk too, then decided to leave, then eve left with us, then handed up stuff, then....... waiting... LOL. then wait for bus.... AND I MISSED THE FIRST 57!!! thanks arh jiarong HAHAHA. she asked me to wait with her for 963, then in the end 963 was right behind 57!! sian sia. in the end eve left too on 61 left me sitting there stoning and listening to mp4 :) emo kia! :) in the end met bl LOLLLLL at the bus stop. then bus came and faster went up liao, damn long to wait la!!! -.-

i wanna go back to fsc :( miss jack, maiyuan, alicia, nicoles, etc etc... don't wanna give up like how i did with loving hearts, and then regretted it so much.. gahhhh. mazlan!!!! :( i promised him a watch, but in the end i quitted before i could buy and pass it to him.. :( i feel super bad la.. but go back now oso weird liao..

carecorner! i want to go back to carecorner and have CIP dept talks XDDDD damn fun one la :) and i feel like an adult organizing!! :) but we are handing over liao, no point trying to do another CIP right :( aiyo. one year passed by damn fast, felt like ytd we took over and everything. though i didn't do much, but oh well, i will miss sjab in some ways.. and hopefully y4 squad won't split.. i want to go genting with them one leh~ my parents still saying no, but i think it's not that bad la, they probably will tag along :X HAHAHA. so weird. but yeah. maybe i should ask my bro to come along heh heh! but will definitely be weird for me lor. i'm totally different at home and outside.. LOL!

hopefully sjab chalet will be in december heh heh. :) i want midnight cycling!! but again, got people nvr learn or perfected.. -stares at auntie- :( maybe can double bike lor! omg la. midnight cycling will rock, but i must, must, must perfect my biking first HAHAHAHAHAHA. though it's perfect already.. -shrugs-

hahaha. listening to chinese songs to attempt to make myself more china :) but it's a failure so far, i can't identify the songs HAHAHA.

chey la, i tot i was over it. as usual, i can't let go so easily la. -.- jiarong was right, chey.. LOL.

tmr's someone's birthday, dun want say who HAHAHA. see my mood tmr then if got time i blog hahaha! :)

i really, really hope the plan bill isn't coming soon, i don't want to die at such an early age.. then again, i have been saying that since the plan started o_O (----- this emoticon very cute HAHAHA.

i want nobody, nobody but you (clap, clap, clap) :D the song damn addictive HAHA.

edit: i fell asleep during maths. not really fall asleep. i just... dozed off, and leaned against the wall, woke up and saw yijin sniggering HAHAHA!

monday was youth day, the day for youths! and my parents had to work hahaha! looks like i will need to suffer that same fate someday soon :(

anyway, went ice skating with squad. OMG. it was a horrible/enriching/embarrassing day! LOLL. when i got into the ice skating rink, i fell after like, 5 minutes or so? shit la and plus people pull me down, and my legs slipped again! so paiseh :b but anyway, the ice floor was totally, like what sharon said, frictionless!! seriously when you're gonna fall, it felt like your legs are going haywire o.o seriously sia. i had no idea how i could not fall when i was going to fall LOL! somehow i managed to perform a very... exhilarating 'dance' move because i regain my legs HAHAHA.

so i held on to railings most of the time la! but still tried to let go but too many people then if i fall then i so malu la XDD then second time i was desperately grabbing on to sth, in the end i grabbed onto yen, and pulled her down to fall toooooooooooo :b sorry yen!!

there was once, i sort of tripped over this kid's uh... thing. okay not THAT thing. i meant, the kid was holding on this thing that resembles what elderly hold to support them? yeah. i can't find the word/picture to describe it.. yeah so ..

me: woahwoahwoahwoah shitshit!! (almost fell and didn't fall)
boy: o.o
me: oh, sorry.
boy: .... you need this?

walao he is right out trying to tell me i suck la! LOL. and he is just a fricking kid!!!! :( LOL.

anyway, one guy swept past in front of me, and i lost concentration, and i seriously started PRANCING around on ice to maintain balance. and that guy stared at me like i'm some retard with no equilibrium (?), but actually if he didn't shock me i wouldn't be in that state!!! horrible sia! LOL.

phototaking was fun, if i could stop moving backwards involuntarily! LOL. totally had to hold on to everyone to make sure i stop moving like shit!! HAHAHA. but in the end took a few photos lor :) most of the time i was trying reallllllly hard to skate. okay not that hard, if there were fewer people, i bet a million dollars i will fall like 20 times cuz i will be hiong in trying to desperately grasp the iceskating ;b

but it's fun la! after that took out the skates, it was horrible. cramped up twice and was in immortal agony LOL. charlene was sort of o.o LOL. not really actually LOL, it's routine :) then wore shoes. OMG. it's the best feeling for a long time :)

then wanted to go out but adam lost his ticket so i lent him 10 dollars. best part is he said

"oh 算我倒霉，lend me 10 dollars. there's no choice!" LOL. i have no fricking idea why he must add the first part, it sounded extremely, extremely qianbian -.- but lent him anyway if not i cannot get out cuz he's blocking o.o LOL.

then wanted to go marina barrage because it felt like a very very short meeting only, but everyone tired le bah, so yeah lor.. at night tried to sleep but to no avail in the end i ended up reading shaonianwenzhai and smsing eve -.- trying to motivate her to do her hwk, when i'm not :)

today was uh.. normal lesson day lor. but tired :X but i never sleep at all~ geography almost fell asleep but stayed awake and stared into blank space :)

CID was quite interactive so never sleep heh heh! and we are the 5th group leh~ happy ahahhaha! chemistry prac was crap thx to nck LOL. eve and i like dao him and stay in class and the whole class oso stay then nck called my hp O.O omg. i tot cannot use phone in class one?! LOLLLL. but i just ignore, and faster rush to chem lab liao :X in the end kena scolded hahaha, and confirmed that it wasnt a free period :b

then math was just the quiz then after that going thru the circle thing LOl. i couldn't really hear so i gave up LOL.

ahhhhh i very tired, XDD night.. :)

zzzz i tried to blog today twice, once on the phone but my parents came back so i had to off the internet, second time i tried but there was an error! AHHHHHH. so frustrating!

but anyway. i was just blogging about this week:)

uhhh.. monday was movie with jiarong, transformers HAHA! didn't like it much though, probably should watch transformers one first right? :X but anyway the guy looks very cute, he looks like a preschooler but probably cuter than that :P megan fox is hot la, but there wasn't much scenes featuring her, so i didn't take notice much XD maybe transformers one should be the one which does the impression!

tuesday was 'checking sec one attire' day. LOL. left quite early and everything lor. but still funny in some ways HAHA. i tot everyone will turn up since it's supposed to be a day all of us are free.. but in the end only a few turned up :(

wednesday was sjab day, had good and bad experiences, but was damn paiseh to be greeted with eve in front of mrs look sia. LOLLL. it was so random! anyway, was paiseh when juniors greet me, and everyone ask me "why eve has so many badges you so little?!" WALAO!! LOL. i got chief com badge one okay! :X but anyway after that waited for charlene and bl then had camwhore session :) i love, love, love photos!

sidetracking for a cheesy while. i think our 'era' is sort of ending, and i really hope that we will not drift, but asked jesslyn and she said it's quite impossible we won't... probably we will be close in cliques? it made me quite sad actually, looking back, i probably didn't make so much memories with the rest since they had comp tgt and everything, but the last two years had been the fun years that i'm super, super scared i would forget about :( therefore, we MUST. i repeat, MUST take photos regularly so that i will remember every event we did tgt, even when we part and start to forget each other's names, faces, or may not recognise each other when we walk past each other..

thursday was training, as usual, quite useless at trainings that are not foot drill one la XDD but anyway, just wanted to spend time and everything. try to make myself useful in little ways -.-

friday too XD but the highlight was probably the photo taking session and dinner oso :) funfunfun! but i look horrible in most of the photos, so will leave my dp like that for some time XD thanks eve for uploading the photos! the dinner was with jesslyn eve xinmun bl zhixiang adam :) had dinner at The Mussel Guy in vivo! but anyway it was really paiseh at the end because i had ALOT of coins, no notes, then very paiseh when i poured the coins out and starting counting them like some measly amount.. LOL. but was fun, talked and laughed everything :) took one photo!

today was a very sian day bah? woke up all groggy. last night i reached home, then bathed, and it was about... 9 plus? i just lay on the sofa, and fell asleep. then when i woke up it was 10 a.m. and i was at home o.o HAHAHA. but i think i woke up at 4 plus in the morning bah? biological clock of my cerebullum(?) LOL. but was woken up because my leg was hurting like shit, couldn't reach for the fricking phone and only could get it when i sort of half-crawled to the phone hahahahah! for some reason i duno why, the pain is getting worse, is it because the physio's not due yet? duno leh XD i just hope it isn't like this every morning, it's going to go back to that wake-up-30-minutes-early-just-to-walk period :(

MONDAY IS SQUAD OUTING. XDD happy happy! ice skating leh! yay! it's gonna be damn fun :X i believe so! :) wheeeeeeeee! must take photos:)

i doubt i can sleep today, though i'm really mentally tired and worn out.

and oh yeah, happy 400 posts lol

i don't like it. i don't like it. i bloody hell don't like it. somehow, my heart hurts from knowing that too. i don't like to even feel like this.

i'm really, really hoping i'm just being childish, and my mom's just suppressing her feelings. perhaps adults have a different view about life and death? nobody's that horrible right?

shit la needa chiong work later on!

uhhhh. ytd was school reopen and it was really fun in the morning, eve and i were extremely high when we went to the other block then saw pnghang with cut hair hahahaha!

in class was fun too, siyi and jasmine and i talked like hell, like one whole month's worth of words, nck had to tell us to keep quiet a lot of times XDD plus there's tiny eve at the diagonals, can bully her if i feel like it heh heh! not bully literally, it's nice to see her expression when i bully her haha!

then had new LA teacher, i forgot her name though.. the class was in dead silence when she was in the classroom. i guess we all miss mr hor? i do, at least.. he was probably one of the teachers i would gladly do hwk for? the new teacher seems nice, but i just cannot get used to the fact that mr hor ain't teaching us anymore, and how i actually look forward to LA lessons, just a bit.. people probably just come and go right?

math had new teacher tooo LOLL. and plus we are very ahead of time, so the next few math lessons probably would be just sian.. i want calculator games NOW. XDD or maybe phone games, i dun mind :P talked to siyi and jiayi like hell today HAHA.

anyway, watched transformers ytd, i didn't find it awesome or anything? maybe cuz i didn't watch the first one, but the second one seem to be like, about running, action all the time, but no much development? i duno leh, was bored in the midst of the bomb fighting LOLL. smuggled KFC into the cinemas too muahahaha.

had free tickets anyway hahaha! :X

tmr is sjab day!! :D somehow i'm looking and not looking forward to it :S

i'm currently craving someone to rant to, to find out if my view is just warped.

hmmhmm. let me blog about thursday first :)

THURSDAY, 25june
LOL. okay. it was the day of the performance!! OMGOMGOMG. i guess the ones who are most nervous are probably the children themselves and jiarong and ruth, since they were the ones who did the most of the performance. but anyway, before that, the girls were doing make-up, and i was like stunned. wow, they are like 5 years younger than me and they use make-up already?? i don't even know what is a mascara whatever that is -.-

but anyway, jack and maiyuan look super cool in their suits :) vischal looks normal.. XD maiyuan's blazer had no buttons though :S HAHA. ok no photos yet, maybe some other day :X

the thing itself was super funny, vishal almost ran out a lot of times, zi yan was lagging everywhere, yi qing blew the whistle out of nowhere HAHAHA. it was damn hot too, sweating like hell sia. woon neng was super good, she kept asking them to keep quiet :) maiyuan oso hahaha!!

the 2nd one was more screwed than the first i think XDD

went home and slept on the bus again hahaha. somehow i woke up near school.. i think cuz got sms or sth like that :)

TODAY:
had appointment, and the doctor said that my vertebra's cartilage is a little deformed, and is pressing against a motor nerve which links to my leg.. so yep, leg hurts, back hurts a bit too.. my back didn't hurt that much i guess but i think i got used to the pain until it didn't hurt anymore hahahaha. the leg one was worse :) but anyway, i need to go for physiotherapy every thursday from now on, to reduce imflammation of the nerve?? o.o i duno why LOLL. and the problem cannot be solved, unless i go for operation.. i guess i'll only do it when it gets really, really bad. LOL. yeah, and i'm really relieved it's not some degenerative disease!!

WHEE. chemistry test on monday. LOL. gg. :)

"We were strangers starting out on our journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you"
- Anastacia, At the beginning

what the hell is wrong with me? i'm like, playing battleon, a game that should have dissolved from my game list since primary school?? i can still vividly remember how everyone spammed battleon in the comp labs after PSLE. and somehow this time, i feel like becoming a pro in it XDD hardcore playing then :) at least there's something to do now right? :X

and nck's email made me itching to delete his email. LOLLL. stupid idiot, i don't want chemistry test to be on the first day of school! it's inba, i'm not anywhere near studying, except chinese because it's the way i can on my comp at night -.-

cca are all cancelled, sian.. that probably means no sjab day parade.. and that's perhaps the last few sessions we have with the juniors? oh well. we'll leave anyway someday xD will miss the sec 3s alot, especially those i'm closer to, and the sec 2s and 1s which i have grown slowly attached to.. but some things just can't change right? even though i want to take responsibility.

yadayada. my mom's scolding me about the camera. though it's my fault, i don't like how she scolds people, very qian bian LOL. and she's scolding me because i'm putting on headphones, with no music, and i was planning to watch anime but because she is scolding, i didn't watch and stoned instead...

okay i'm tired, blog some other day heh heh heh!

bye bro, he's gone for some weird course...

anyways, haven't been blogging though i was harping on this idiotic, laggy computer everyday for at least 3 hours at night, 7 hours if i had the whole day till evening to myself. wow! LOLL. i have been such an otaku/computer freak :( tried very hard to do self-study, but it didn't work out.. switched the computer on, and moved on the manga, and onto facebook (just surfing), seeing and writing notes (in facebook), chatting to the same olds on msn... oh yeah i was listening to songs too xD

sunday was probably quite a wasted day. shouldn't have spent the morning snoring and having lunch with my family! should have gone to zj's house for durian party or sth -.- but seriously, was rather looking forward to the family lunch because
1. there might or might not be huijun, my bro's gf joining us!
2. there's kway chap, #1 in singapore at old airport road!!!
but anyway, i was wrong on both counts, she didn't come, was overseas, and kway chap was on holidays too!! urgh! in the end i spent one and a half hour stoning, eating wanton mee at that very hot place because i had ALOT of time to spare. LOL. and in my vest + long sleeved black shirt! how bad is that? damnnnn hot!!!

called jiarong and half-begged her and zj to meet earlier, but zj was still dressing up and stuff so had to waitttttttttttttt. LOL!

ended up in plaza sing walking aimlessly with my family to wait lor! had fun poking, making fun of my bro, and finally, some joy in walking, i repeat, WALKING in shopping centres. close friends would know what i meant by that xDDDD i have been complaining about it since ages ago!

and met em at the cinema, jiarong pounced onto me while i was looking down from the top storey, and my guts almost flew out sia! shocked! for the records, i am a little bit afraid of heights, reason being i have this nightmare i'm falling down from my window all the time, and even once in my dreams a person (i don't feel like mentioning) pushed me down from a 39 storey high diving board!!! freaking scary okay!

then watched ghost of girlfriends' past.. was wanting to watch hannah montana, but couldn't :(
i guess it was okay, better than i expected. i thought it would be a lot of crying, regretting, emoness all those, not exactly my kind of movie.. but it was funny at some parts, mostly very suggestive xDDD and there was a happy ending :)

then just walked around aimlessly, and daiso rocks :) bought a mini pencil box, in case i have to go out and there's nowhere to put my huge pencil box, i'll just use the smaller mini version :)

monday was fun! in the morning woke up earlier than usual to go to school. wore 4J class tee :) i have no idea why people say the class tee doesn't look good or whatever, i find it fine to me, and most importantly, it's a class tee! even how ugly it is, it's still nice to me because it signifies the class what! alright, i'm not over the fact that i lost the design, but the current design is fine!

waited at the bus stop for about... 20 minutes for liuqiao, charlene, sharonow to come -.- wah kao! i reached at like, 8.40? from early to late -.-

then went on to take temperature.. damn cool technology, just click and you get a temp. i was quite suspicious that the default temp was 36.6 degrees, because everyone had the same temp! LOLL. xinmun came too! XD then walked to sj room, realised no one's there, so went to canteen!

omg. seriously realised how long it has been since i saw them :) yen cut her hair, makes her look cuter! overall i think everybody's hair grew longer? LOL. i passed the badge to bl, then just stoned around hoping eve would come faster, had fun still.. was quite reluctant to leave, if not for my very suspicious shirt, and cid.. :(

accompanied sharon to her art room and saw her art piece... very nice sia, i love the shading xDD and i realised art, is so cool. wished i had some degree of talent in it :(

CID. took 963 from school with charlene and talked! then she got down quite fast, and i stared out of the window and listened to music till i reached the fsc's stop. didn't dare to sleep cuz i might miss the stop! LOLL. cid was.. chaotic. i went in and bursts of si biantai came out and everything. stunned. hahaha! then jack and si qin quarrelled :( not much comments about it, but i feel bad. it's my phone they are quarrelling over after all

went for lunch with CID mates, and had quite a good time! mac's default chilli has changed to garlic chilli!! :DDDDDD OMG. i'm totally happy over it. :) zhengyang came and all of us chatted and stuff...

then timothy suddenly called HAHAHA. stunned. it has been what, one year since we even exchanged a call? LOL. i think the rest thought it was my mom or something, dunno leh, so everybody left LOL

took the bus home, and as usual slept until i barely woke at the interchange. :) happy sleeping trips :)

hmmm. i did 40 cheng yu ytd, was rather ok actually, most learnt in primary school already mah xD

today was otaku/computer day! :D and i'm gonna be dead if my mom comes home now...

bye! XD

P.S. what the hell is the voting thing for, if they didn't take our opinion into consideration? gave us hope for holidays and smashed us down like that... and i have to chiong work :( school's reopening friends, that's the truth.. good and bad in some ways :S

i realised how cool it is to have my dad xD

last night, my bro came home at midnight, and my mom was sleeping. my dad and i were watching tv, then he bathed and sat down with us and watch tv.. then my dad asked him about his gf and everything, and the three of us started chatting about his gf which was damn, damn cool! it's like we can talk about anything, everything.. i think i can never do that with my mom, though she's nicer nowadays too...

gahhhh i can't blog anymore, i'm too sleepy LOLLLL. gonna sleep soon xD night, tmr going to shop again, wah kao scared of shopping liao la!!

LOLLLLLL. watched house by nigahiga, and it was plain retarded.

sean: it's like they are the same person...
-intense music plays-
ryan: wait, sean, say that one more time
sean: that one more time
ryan: no, say that again!
sean: that again!
ryan: no, say what you said before-
sean: that one more time!

WTHHHHH. sean is LOL. what the hell. AHHAHA! always a good laugh xD

anyway, today went cycling with sharonow and charlenetan! omg almost overslept. would have if sharon didn't sms me sia! just popped a shirt and went out. my brother was like o.o because i woke up so early LOL. but anyway, reached there like 30 minutes early? so went to mac and bought hash browns and milo for them. then waited, and waited.....

and i got onto the train LOL. what the hell, sharon was like laughing when i got onto the train for no reason!! -.- LOLLLL. and charlene was being auntie, there was an empty seat and she kept "ahhh got seat!!" -.- HAHA. crazy bunch of people. am i the only sane one? o.O

then went to pasir ris, and then all the hash browns were... soggy and disgusting HAHA. but in the end we ate our share anyway xD

then took 403 to pasir ris, waited damn long for it sia. LOL. then something funny happened:

charlene and i were talking about periods, then i was like
me: hey sharon, you got duo jiu me you lai?
i think she heard wrongly anyway..
sharon: uh, i think once then for sometime nvr go (?) then go for once... liddat lor
charlene and i looked at each other puzzled
sharon: c'mon la i got warning letter before leh!
charlene and i started laughing like shit xDDDD


then reached pasir ris,and it's so near the chalet!! omg. charlene and i recognized it because it was the one glennis and glenda book for us de :)

then we walked and rented bikes~

here's the story:

the gruelling adventure of charlene



































i have no idea who's that either LOL.

with her friends...











sharon ow jia'en












phyllisseahkiamui(HAHA. sorry for the stupid face!)

was very fun because very long nvr cycle le. and here, i shall congratulate charlene on learning the basics of cycling!! XDDDD though i'm not too good at it either -.- LOL XD

and we did very breathtaking, life-threatening actions...


anyway, for those that have no inkling where this is, this is the middle of the road, and btw we were taking it when we were aware that there's a taxi coming our way okay!! HAHAHA.














then exhausted, we went to white sands and ate at burger king. and crapppppppppppppppp. like hell. LOL. damn long, and it's damn cold too over there! :) talked about a huge variety of things ranging from families to cca? i think. LOL -.-


then just walk around? and we somehow ended up in the library talking in the children's section, malay bookshelves... HAHHAHA and we talked about..basic and advance i think! basic was with char, advance was with sharon so yeah lah XDDD


then go... KFC? I BOUGHT HOT DOG ROLLLLLLL at polar (: i love it so much!


eat and crap a bit and took some photos...

ok finally. i can finish this post. PHEW. anyway accompanied sharon to clementi and went back on my own HEHEHEHE XD

LOL. hello. :)

anyway, read this when doing chinese work:

对生活还满意的你一定有很多话可以分享。对生活不满意的你更要说出来，不是为了抱怨而抱怨，而是希望遇上截然不同的观点，让你看见广阔的，优美的世界。

yup, this is to my friend :) hope you know what i mean :)

anyway, my mom is now scolding me, because she's jealous of my brother's gf, and my bro's coming home late everyday, so she's giving him cold treatment. -.- how.... weird. LOL.

she was like scolding me and then sth random like 'you can just do anything you want without telling me la, just because you can act like you no mom liao' and i was like 'wth? wtf??? what the hell are you talking about." -.- obviously, she messing up things to scold my bro with me -.-

mom's in bad mood today, don't like her when she's like that :( should have went training for ph -.- finished 2 chinese papers today, but i'm drained. -

AND YES. i want to make a scrapbook with all my friends/events/pets/houses/etc to be in! and in future, when i open it again, i can be wowed :) i'm really bent on doing it, and i need money!!!! stupid empty piggy bank -.- spent it all in outings already :( i'm left with... 40 dollars till the end of this month -___________-
nice one right? :)

i'm bringing a camera to FSC tmr, hopefully, i can take a lotlotlotlot of photos with them :) and hope that they don't forget me, it has only been one session i'm disappeared! \

sayonara!

hmmhmm, long time no update yeah? :)

"I run from hate
I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists
But I run too late."
- Lady Antebellum, I run to you

:D i love this song too :) this part of the lyrics is super cool, like saying trying to run away from hating people, being prejudiced, and pessimistic, but to no avail... i guess that's in every person's personality? i duno, everyone has their moments :) what's important is to know there is always someone who is there for you! (cheesy)

okay, i shall start the update from last friday, 12/06/09

so it was checkup for me in the evening, so was supposed to meet mom at 12 at her office, but i forgot my keys were with her, so i can't get out of the house! so she came back and we stoned around for a while before we moved off. so went to harbourfront to eat at the hawker centre, the fried fish noodle soup is pretty nice :)

then went to people's park complex/centre and shopped around. omg. i spent so much and my mom was still... happy? i wonder what got into her. i spent like 100 over and she was still smiling and joking around while she paid? i bought a skirt, long shirt, accessaries? yeah.. i felt rather bad, but was rather thrilled because it's the first time i actually bought stuff with my mom and felt happy about it! :D

had dessert at some shop, mango sago! <3>

then went for checkup at KK hospital!

had x-ray before that, wasn't much again, but i was rather sad because my mom had to spend money again, then went for my appointment

the doctor wasn't the nice one who was attached with the old doctor, but some doctor who had a super strong american accent.. so they tried to find out what's wrong with my left leg, and they diagnosed that my left leg is very much weaker than the other, thanks to the young doctor making me use force from my left leg and compare to my right. yeap, had a bad time after that because my left leg started aching again -.- the x-ray showed that my backbone is gradually straightening on its own! :D wooooo!

after that went to tiong, and walked around aimlessly with my mom and met jiarong at the mrt xD then a lot of stupidded and idiotic things happened on the mrt.

1. we missedraffles place, so i was rather kiasu to get out of the mrt at city hall for obvious reasons, then jiarong was like talking yapyapyap behind me while i was saying 'excuse me' to the people and squeezing past people to get to the exit, with reference to raffles place...

jiarong: so you know like this... ya lor yadayada

me: uh... jiarong, is it ok if we talk when we get out of this mrt?

- dengdeng, city hall station. passengers who are transferring to the blah-

me stares as the mrt reaches the station, and the exit is at the other end of the train. then jiarong laughed -.-

2. jiarong was smsing dilligently on her phone, and then the train jerked, so she fell backwards in FREAKING SLOW MOTION. LOL. according to her, my mouth opened in surprise in slow motion too LOL, and i didn't catch her immediately HAHAHA.

but anyway, i pulled her, and the guy behind her held her too xDDD his gf was sitting beside us somemore. LOL. then jiarong and i laughed like shit, so hard our insides were bursting! then the couple smiled and laughed oso, ok not laugh loudly, but quietly. LOL. then jiarong said there was a random guy who am chio LOL!!! damn funny la -.-

ok then we met jasmine at novena, got onto her dad's car :)

LOL. her bro is .... LOL. i have nothing to say, he is super noisy, that's the truth. XD

then blahblah, we reached hwa chong! it's freaking big. B.I.G. i think it's 4x of RV? crazy la.

then we got in and walked to the auditorium.. they had some declaration forms too! cool.

went in and chose a seat and started waiting for the start of the concert :)

1st item was belly dancing, and a group of insensitive people near us started laughing out loud, and pointing because it was a fat lady -.-

2nd item was hiphop, was nice, and cute! :D

.

.

.

.

.

.

i can only remmeber a few liao. LOL. okay i remember there were freaking 4 belly dancing items -.- and all the melodies sound the same LOL! was rather boring la! the last item was explosive. i loved it like helllll. seriously it's damn nice, and the street dance was damn cool!! OMG. i loved it likehell. i loved the part when the people with down's syndrome, and they danced, it's very heartwarming. i was like stunned while i watch. they must have placed so much effort into this concert just for one 8 dollars ticket!

then went home, on the way jasmine's dad dropped by King Albert's park mac to buy us dinner by the drive thru :) cooool! XD then took jiarong to her house and then mine! :D

Saturday

nothing much, went out with my family, bought shirts :( sorry mom.

Sunday

OMG. the highlight. zj qh and i went to BUGIS STREEEEEET! :D hahaha it's the first time i was there sia. the prices are... crazy. i bought a vest for 10 dollars only, and it's super nice!! and things there are like at weird prices. too cheap already! i wanted to buy this suspender like thing for 15 but cannot try then i dun wanna take the risk..

bought a necklace at 5, very happy with it :)

walked and shopped with qh only at first at bugis junction and stood in Diva as we tried to see what to buy but in the end nothing for me 0.o lOL. but still... happy to shop :) shoppping therapy :D LOL....then zj came, and we went bugis street! she was like our tour guide xDDD

then after walking like shit, zj and i left for far east plaza while qh left! wth zj bought 2 dresses, one is 35, one is 15 xD but the 35 one looked really good on her :) i bought nothing once again <3>

MUAHAHAHA.

and i almost got slaughtered by mom XD

Monday

was a rather hectic day.. in the morning woke up late, and rushed out of house to meet mom, and went to exchange one shirt cause the thingy are dropping out, those stick on things to the shirt? then we both looked at this jacket like thing, and we both liked it, so my mom paid 4 dollars more to buy it and give that shirt back! :D omg!! very happy la! had lunch then...

went d&c to look at shoes, in the end came out with one 26 dollars flats....... GAH. okay. i'm stopping. LOL. my mom was still so happy la!then we went to KK hospital and went to the MRI section, but the nurse told us the boy who was before us was too hyperactive they needed to sedate him, and he has been fasting since morning!! so my mom and i just okay, and walked around the hospital, talking. my mom said my bro really has a gf XD so coooooool!

then we waited for our turn. there was this really cute toddler... he had really long eyelashes, and he had a broken arm :( he was in this pushable trolley/cart? so cute la he!!! omg. fyi, i'm not paedophile! LOL. but he was really cute :)

after that went for MRI, they asked me to change into this hospital gown? yeah.. then went in feeling rather nervous.. then it's like a cylinder-like capsule! ok not enclosed.. then i lay on this platform, they put on ear plugs for me cause it would be noisy according to them.. then they pushed me in and told me to keep still and dont open my eyes when it starts. then i was in already. omg. it felt as if.. okay i think i'm mild claustrophobic. LOL. i can't stand being in such a small space, but i was lying down.. so yeah.. LOL -.- sorry couldn't resist. i closed my eyes, and listened to FM 83.3 xD

then the banging + construction work started but it was okay, i almost fell asleep.. i stayed in that position for about... half an hour? yup, when they pulled me out, i was half awake only xDD

so cool! then went home :)

my week:

tuesday: hardcore studying -.-

wednesday: cid

thursday: CYCLING <3>

friday: training

sunday - probably bugis street again?

"Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent. "
- David Cook, Permanent

i'm sorry google chrome, i'm sticking with IE!
btw, i find Permanent a fricking emo song, which might be why i love it so much! the piano melody is just plain sadness, i can almost hear despair in those piano notes or something... though i have no idea about notes, no need to mention pianos... it's just a song that doesn't really make much sense actually, but i still like it :)

today woke up late, at 8.45a.m, when i told myself to wake up at 8, because i was going to leave house at 9. then i was like, in a rush and everything, shouting and screaming because i couldn't find my wallet, then my brother was like 'hey, you wake up so early for what?' and i guess, it has been a while since i heard his voice in the morning, or see him? NS period was plain disappearance of my big bro, because he goes for NS on weekdays, and for weekends he will just spend his time outside, not much with us xD

i think he has a girlfriend *coughs* LOL. he's out all day, and he now talks on the phone in the room, when he used to just, talk in the living room? anyway, that gives my mom less incentive to scold me when i'm in the room chatting :X

anyway, 2 nights ago, or last night, i forgot.. i was lying on the bed, him on the mattress, so i was really wondering if he has a gf, and if he did, would he tell me? i was so stuck with that idea, and i was screaming silently, like literally, banging my head into the pillows and everything because the suspense was killing me (hahahaha kpo sister!)

then he was like 'uh, can you please keep quiet? i'm trying to sleep! one more sound, and you're dead!' then it just burst out from my mouth "do you have a gf!?!" his reaction told me my answer heh heh! he went like 'what.' in a rather defensive tone, so yeap, then after that when i tossed and turned in bed, he didn't complain xDDD i caught him~

one thing i'm not used to is my parents' treatment of him i guess? but i have to get used to it anyway, it's something i have to face. either way, i'm happy he's back :)

ok back to the topic, so i was going to go out with jasmine and guanlin! then i just took some clothes and ran to change.. then my bro told me a shortcut to plaza singapura via purple line, so i sat down and watched tv with him till 9.30 before i changed and everything xD

got lost at the mrt station at dhoby gaunt (?) and waited for guanlin to come and stuff... then she gave me a review of my clothes, and i guess the word 'horrible' sums it up nicely :) LOL. and the necklace was a huge joke LOL! and my happy earrings are criticized HAHA!

then met jasmine at starbucks, before that was watching BOF at the CD shop, they were screening it! then met her and had coffee, sat down to talk and everything! it's nice to keep up with them now, i missed them a lot :) okay not much of jasmine because i just met her on sunday xD but yeap guanlin! talked then went for takoyaki (?) octopus balls are nice! ok the onions suck though i hate that smell!! jasmine and guanlin were like saying the takoyaki suck and said it's something about the flour and stuff? i was like o.o because i found it nice, since it has been a long time since i ate it :(

then went trying on clothes, heh heh! indeed was an enriching experience for me leh! :) though i may be quiet and stuff, but i was actually rather entertained :) HAHA tried on a lot of clothes, and it was funny listening to gl say "horrible" 7 times today XDDD

jasmine helped me put some nail polish LOLLLLLL. she was like my mom can LOL. brenda came at about...12? yeah! then yeap i had to leave at about 1 :S then rushed home, luckily my parents didn't scold... then slacked and everything!

I WISH I'M AT CLASS CHALET NOW.

urgh. i hate it when she starts nagging. she just scold about EVERY bucking thing. damnit. i hate it! and she is now removing my saturday's plans... lucky i didn't really expect to go, if not i'll flare up at her like hell. -.- but stilll...

I'M HAPPY! GOING OUT WITH JASMINE N GUANLIN TMR! :D SO LONG NVR SEE THEM LIAO LEH! WHEEEEE! <3

i was blog surfing, and i came across this blog that i haven't visited since ages, and it reminded me of one current issue that's making me very sad.

i hope you guys will come back. i'm really sorry for abandoning you'all to do other stuff, and then you guys are like, traumatised or sth. now the attendance is like, screwed to the max? and i'm sure i wouldn't have known if they told me. and i'm sure i wouldnt be that guilty/sad/angry right then. i wish i could talk to you guys, but then again, i'm leaving, what's the point? i sort of hope i can leave with a happy note, at least tell myself i love you guys because you guys always make me laugh, but on such a note, i'm leaving with guilt and nothing else. hopefully, things will turn out fine, right? even though i was always scolding, i hope you know that i have a reason in doing so.. hopefully?

okay emo note xD

off to gossip girls i think!

yup, blogskin changed successfully! it looks happier and everything now, like my mood :)

gonna try out gossip girls, i wonder if it's gonna interest me! XD

FSC! :)

today exchanged numbers with the kids, ok not exchange, more like giving my no :D i think the fsc is like a big family, and it's a very happy family! everyone are different in their own ways, but they love each other and know each other very well :) that's so magical, and angela got pissed and the others said sorry and hugged her, which is so warm, so nice! love going there now, the warm atmosphere is just too addictive...

after that went to jp with jiarong to make her sister's card, went through a few shops but was damn cool, because it was so but was sort of rushing in the end cuz i had to get home really soon before i get lynched! then i forgot my whole box of lollipops at jp!!! AHHHHHHH! shit it man. we only noticed it when we were on the mrt going off!! DAMN!@#$%^&*

rotted while waiting for 123, and it was hilarious!

was sitting down, and stoning because 123 seemed to be come after 1 million years, just like a few people beside me. then girl shouted "didi! faster come, 123 is here!" and all of our heads snapped up at the same time, and went to wait for the bus! LOLL. somehow it feels that the bus stop was so bonded. LOL!

bought hot dog rolls at tiong bahru, and was watching the tv while walking past because i recognized the actor, and the drama showing actually. so i was walking, and i totally walked into this auntie, who gave me the biggest eyes i have ever seen. LOL! her eyes were like O.O, and i haven't stepped onto her yet! LOL. her eyeballs would be on the floor if i stepped onto her foot :D

then went home, and tried to do work, but to no avail, as usual....zzzzzzz. in the end decided to game on gameboyadvance! splintercell FTW! i love the game, it's so cool, and all those alarm system, and i love killing people, to shoot them to their deaths! and avoiding cameras, and setting off the alarm, then hiding somewhere where the mighty guards can't find me! love those computers when i have to rotate those boxes to make them click and stuff, it's very interesting:))

oh yeah, something random... why are katy perry's songs always rated so low in wmp? like waking up in vegas is 2.5 stars, i kissed a girl is 2, thinking of you is a mere 2.5?? weird... okay nvr mind, computer has weird taste!

and yes, i love GLEE! i can't wait for it to come out~ the main leads are so cool, and i think its pretty nice! i love the soundtracks somehow! don't stop believing! :)

anyway, lemme tell you the top few embarrassing things i have ever done, to please those who wants a laugh -.- LOL! (see if it makes you laugh) i'm challenging myself to think of as many as possible!!

NUMBERone: saying "would you like to take a photo" to a bunch of strangers with a donation box...

NUMBERtwo: sneezing with my mouth full with disgusting rice in leisure camp

NUMBERthree: saying 'stop expecting your seniors to spoonfood you' in UG camp

NUMBERfour: falling at harboufront interchange at the stairs, with a whole bunch of people in front of me. i fell down the stairs, with my butt slipping on every step...

NUMBERfive: falling down behind choir peeps, and in front of yinshan, and actually going into a kneeling position in front of her in school, at side gate

YES. it's only five. :)

ahh. i just realised how much i'm thinking of ________. it's weird. damn.

i'm thinking of changing blogskin too!

hello!

ytd was about the top 10 fun days of this year :)

went guides' campfire! met charlene at anchorpoint and was late heh heh! sorry char hahaha! then talked, and went crazy over weird things and cool things! was rather sad some people couldn't go but oh well...

then jess bl adam came, and we had dinner at kopitiam! ok it's actually only me LOL. the yong tau foo was sucky, sucky like hell! the doufu wasn't cooked la, i almost died eating it! then went for guides campfire le! LOL. it was damn weird because there was only 5 of us, and guides reserved 3 benches for us o.o

ok i shall cotninue on another day xD gonna sleep soon

edit: sorry for not updating so long heh! :)

so the campfire was rather low at first, but started to get higher and higher as it neared night, for me, cause the moon was damn beautiful! and the stars too! it's a great night sia, i wonder if the guides predicted it already :P

then there was this event we were supposed to send one representive to 'dressup' and act like a celebrity! then we gave adam paper plates and made him act like michael jackson LOLLLL it was damn funny when it was his turn, i think that was when we laughed like hell and everything! and got damn damn high! HAHA. then all those community singing and everything, we were jumping and screaming and everything!! :) so funnnnn

and we took a lot of photos!! :) okay not a lot but just, a few? LOL

after that went to queensway mac to have supper! but had to leave at 1040p.m. cuz had to reach home by 11 if not will kena locked out LOL!

SUNDAY:

flag day! reached at 830 and waited for the organizers till 930? zzz

in the meantime, jr jas zj and i walked around and into 7-11 and stuff...

frankly wasn't very happy about it because waited so long! then after that just do since we were there already =.=

anyway paired up with jiarong, while jasmine with zj, then we did flag day at orchard road! jiarong and i went to the paragon store the sidewalk outside to ask for donations! there were some phillipines people who asked us to help them take photo, then we took photos with them tooo! LOL. so cute! then jiarong kept talking about photos beside me, so i was sort of dreamy, so i went to someone and said

"good morning, would you like to take a photo?"

WTF! it was supposed to be "good morning, would you like to donate?" OMG. i was so so paiseh. DAMN paiseh!! the guy stared at me like i wasn't normal and stuff, and jiarong and i totally went crazy as we walked away OMG HAHAHAHA! ok i admit,it's funny!

MONDAY:

went cid, had fun as usual :) took some photos too! i realised i took a lot of photos lately, compared to the previous months! :)

went to vivo with jiarong for a while cuz i had to get home early, then went to walk at forever 21 and bought earrings! i want a scarf though... :( i want things that go well with my plain tee shirts!

hmmm! CID is fun, indeed! i really love playing with the kids, and plus i'm slacking, so can talk to them and everything. love elaine because she reminded me of myself in primary school :) of course not the breast talk, but yeah, she reminded me of myself in primary school and first week of sec school life, all acting cool and everything, refusing to open myself up except to people i absolutely trust, which was none then. LOL XD (weird to say that because i'm so damn different now) elaine is such a good girl, yet she has no friends! so i decided to be her friend :)

carried the children everywhere and stuff, though it was tiring, i enjoyed it a lot :) then had lunch with them in the small room, and they said their thanks as we listened. i wished everyday would be like that... there are so many kids and they are so warm! i mean warm in the sense of atmosphere. being with them makes me happy anyway :) i guess that's the magic of being a kid! jack and sebastian kept calling me biantai, but i guess that's one way of being close to them? and all the kids are so cute, and fun everything.. if only we weren't doing a project and only went there to enjoy ourselves and play... and the p6 boy, i forgot his name, is so mature for his age! even though he fools around and stuff, he didn't rebel or anything, unlike that stupid uh... what's his name again? yongkang? yeah! zzz!

lunch was a very cute event :) i wish i can have lunch with them soon :)

oh yeah. okay tuesday was cca + training... at first cca was quite sian and stuff cuz only had jesslyn and myself wth! then had lunch at the nearby place which was really cool! i didn't know there was such a place! and the outer view looked so expensive, but it's just normal hawker centre inside! LOLL! then somehow we got the topic of heights, and i found out that jesslyn is like me, afraid of heights!!

then anyway, had training which was rather slack HEH! foot drill a lot, then i pity lihui, her boots were.... wow. LOL. reminded me of footdrillcomp when my boots had a hole, then after drills there was a hole in my socks, and my sole was raw red heh!

and one more thing,

was on the bus going home one day when i saw a mother and son who sat in front of me. the son was just a toddler, perhaps 5 years old? the mother was laughing with him, and was hugging him and being really a nice mother, and the son was happy too. so i was thinking, did my mom do that to me when i was a toddler, too? or did it only apply to other families? hmmmm...

zijun said over the phone that i grew up, and wow, i think i did.

oh i realised, long time no update!:)

let's start from... sunday

SUNDAY:
went out with jiarong at 4 LOL. in the morning went to handphone shop for my parents to change phone, and at first to change my plan too, but in the end we decided not to because the penalty cost was like 100? wth la!

then went to orchard and shopped around until... 7? i bought 3 pairs of earrings, one necklace (which i love very much), and one pair of black flats! then ate some fish and chip thing, got sick of it, and drank bubble tea! LOL.

one random note: jiarong and i were talking, and i was aware of this angmoh beside me, so i tried not to talk because i know ang mohs hate singaporeans' singlish.
so jiarong went like
jr: oi, you got money or not?
me: yes. (sounds weird) -slightly embarrassed-
jr: you got or not one?!
me: yes i have!!!!

LOL. a failure attempt in trying to convey to ang mohs that singaporeans' english aren't that bad
monday was major slacking day at home because my mom refused to let me out
tuesday was duo day with jesslyn and training
wednesday was CID
thursday. i shall see how LOL

and anyway, i agree with sharon now. LOLLLL. sharon you can ask me about what next time. ritsuka rocks :)

okay, i'm too tired, update about the rest in detail next time..

hello! :)
uh, i can't decide whether google chrome is better or IE8 is better? google chrome is well, cooler, newer, and everything, but i hate it when it shows pages as unavailable, when it's just my internet lagging? internet explorer is damn, damn slow. so irritating, my internet is getting so laggy, i'm not even interested in using computer lately...

oh, i cut my hair! no, i didn't cut it on my own, i asked the hairdresser near my house to cut it for me. now i have no idea whether to say it suck or not! my fringe... is irritating, it keeps on blocking my field of view, and my ponytail takes me 20 minutes to tie up because it's so small, so there's so little hair to catch. ARGH! i told the hairdresser i wanted side-parting, and thin my hair, but i want to leave it long. yeah, so the hairdresser gave me such a haircut :( i have no idea what to say next time LOL!

today went to vivo with jasmine and guanlin! siyi oso but she left after her lunch :(

skip the shopping part bah, but in the end gl got what she wanted! i think she looks rather pro in the black shirt leh :)

watched night at the museum 2, and it's hilarious, like crazy! LOLLLLL! it's so retarded, especially the pharaoh, he has a short tongue! LOL. and he called the star wars guy "asthmatic" because he kept breathing in and out loudly, which is sort of... supposed to be scary? LOL. that part was damn funny because the pharoah cannot stop talking HAHA! the einstein part is retarded slightly too, what pi la! LOL! it's so weird that the main guy just keep finding bones with others to pick LOL! i think it's a worthwhile 8.50 la, though i haven't returned jasmine her money yet...

tmr's open house, and i'm doing pd LOL! ah i duno what wil happen tmr ... and i'm sleepy. zzzzz. good night :)

I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your words were like a dream
But dreams could never fool me
Not that easily

I acted so distant then
Didn't say goodbye before you left
But I was listening
You'll fight your battles far from me
Far too easily

"Save your tears 'cause I'll come back"
I could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door
But still I swore to hide the pain when I turn back the pages
Shouting might have been the answer
What if I'd cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart?
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart

Though a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
Crossing over the time and distance holding you
Suspended on silver wings

And a thousand words
One thousand confessions
Will cradle you
Making all of the pain you feel seem far away
They'll hold you forever

The dream isn't over yet
Though I often say I can forget
I still relive that day
You've been there with me all the way
I still hear you say

"Wait for me, I’ll write you letters"
I could see how you stammered with your eyes to the floor
But still I swore to hide the doubt when I turn back the pages
Anger might have been the answer
What if I'd hung my head and said that I couldn't wait?
But now I'm strong enough to know it's not too late

'Cause a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll fly to you
Even though I can't see, I know they're reaching you
Suspended on silver wings

Oh, a thousand words
One thousand embraces
Will cradle you
Making all of your weary days seem far away
They'll hold you forever

Oh, a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
They'll carry you home and back into my arms
Suspended on silver wings ohhhh

And a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll cradle you
Turning all of the lonely years to only days
They'll hold you forever
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
A Thousand Words


Final Fantasy Version:
I know that you're hiding things
using gentle words to shelter me
your words were like a dream
but dreams could never fool me...
Not that easily

I acted so distant then
didn't say good-bye before you left
but I was listening
you fight your battles far from me......
Far too easily

'Save your tears 'Cause I'll come back'
I could hear that you whispered
as you walked through that door
but still I swore to hide that pain
when I turn back the pages
Shouting might've been the answer then
what if I cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart
but now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart....

'Cause a Thousand words
Called out Through the Ages
They'll Fly to you
Even Though I can't see
I Know They're Reaching you
Suspended on Silver Wings

Oh a Thousand Words
One Thousand Embraces
Will Cradle You
Making all of Your Weary Days Seem Far Away
They'll Hold you Forever........

Oh a Thousand Words {One Thousand Words}
Have Never been spoken {Oh Yeah}
They'll fly to you
they'll carry you home {carry you home}
And back into my arms
Suspended on silver Wings {On Silver Wings}

And a thousand words {oohh}
Called out through the ages {called through the ages}
They'll cradle you {oh yeah}
Making all of your lonely years to only days {only days}
They'll hold you forever.........

Ohhhhhhhhhhh

One Thousand Words...

____________________________________________________________________

I LOVE THIS SONG. yes. i love final fantasy too! i love the songs and everything!

and as promised, the twit siyi and i did in class... it's 2 paragraphs but it killed all of my brain cells okay!! we did it in math and biology.

(start twit)

ii am sOOOOO sianxzz
skOOl was funxz todae~~
siyi && miiee started twiiting in classx.
realli verii verii funnie worhhs.
Euux should try it lerhhs ^(00)^
okkies? guaiix horhs XOXO

we wanted tO tell all of euux: thanx euux 4 eweyting euu hab gib us.
MWAH!
ploxx smile olways nehhs~~
promise kaes?
sorriie if we're nOisy in class arhhs.
we noe we verii verii noisy larhs.
will try tO imprOve ferhs euux kayys?
frenz foreva ritezz? (:
muackzxx. Alwaes rmb we lurbbexz euux.
LAWL.

* ps, can't think of anywhere to insert laO gOng, dar dar and kOr.
Sorrie horhs!

(end of twit)

-pukes-

okay i'm done with puking. twit is so brain draining, i really have it to hand it to those twitters!

yesterday had x-country! i woke up at 530 and drifted to school to get yoga mats, then my dad took bl n me to west coast park! LOLLLLL. bl say my parents have killer aura. LOL i agree sia. the last they had that was when i was with qh and we were holding hands, then my parents "caught" us, and yep, the killer aura.

reached there and met eve, then more and more... had big breakfast hahahahha! for free somemore, yes! anyway after that i had a stomachache o.O LOL. was at the first marshal point from the starting point with sharon! had a good time saying jiayou to everyone :) even people i duno, i was randomly saying jiayou LOL. but it made me happy when people started running again, when they were walking or sth then i say jiayou, a bit only ok! then yeah! LOL. had 3 casualties, and one i bandaged him up really badly. LOL. i still feel a little bad about it, but i guess i'm happy because it's my first few attempts you know!

after that went to west mall! we went to arcade at first, and about 9-10 of us playing ddr LOL. it was damn hilarious, and interesting! though i'm sure it's cooler playing it alone LOLLLL but still i love playing it with everyone :)

then jesslyn sharon bl and i went walking around, so basically we walked past red2 and bought bubble tea, bought hot dog roll (my favourite!) and sat down to stone/talk! then we went upstairs to watch angels and demons!!

seriously it's a great movie! i was totally sleepy at the front, then the eyeball freaked me out sia. i think i just jumped on the spot or sth. then the rats crawling out from the guy's mouth, is super irksome!! i was like totally irked out! the one with water had a great time just suffocating. and the twist at the end was damn surprising, i was quite surprised because i tot the movie was gonna end soon! i mean, this movie isn't good because it's disgusting killing and stuff but it's the plot i guess! it's so interesting! LOL! i can't imagine myself figuring angels pointing whatever direction and stuff! HAHA. interesting eh! LOL

then CHIONG after movie to meet jiarong at bb mrt then we took mrt to cck and had mac for lunch! LOL. i realised i had mac for breakfast and lunch which is... unhealthy. LOL. yes it is damn unhealthy! congrats to jiarong and siyi for winning medals :) then met ruth at the lrt, so we took lrt to petir then we walked there!

LOL. for me cid is totally slacking, while the rest are busy teaching stuff sia! i was like, playing uno with the kids, and betting with them i would win so they will stop calling me "si bian tai", then played on the table, on the floor. LOL. then i played snapjack with 3 kids and had really a lot of fun! i guess playing with children is just always different isn't it!

after that went home on 963, at first told jiarong i won't sleep but i failed myself because i fell asleep and woke up in time at jiarong's stop to say bye to her LOLLLLL then went back to sleep!

reached home and i guess i was really tired, couldn't concentrate on anything at all. my mind was somewhere drifting between conscious and unconscious, which is subconscious. yep! so slept rather early!

today

in the morning got back progress report, and i was pleasantly surprised because i attained my goal for this year LOL. the nicest thing is that i got B3 for LA, which made me so happy, even though there was a lot of moderation! nick's comment was rubbish la, i always do his work dilligently, so whats with that "needs to take more pride in daily work" part? crapper la. as usual, he is like just shooting things w/o thinking.

then had pe, and i forgot to bring my pe shirt!! ahhhh! then i had to walk alone at the tracks, so sad right? lOL. nah actually half way thru i decided to join the rest in soccer while tkc is gone :) but only touched the ball 2 times? no idea. but saw a frog! siyi made it jump into the goal post HAHA. damn funny!

then had LA, didn't really know what was happening, i was.... daydreaming? i guess. i remember mr hor coming in, but nothing after that! LOL. and note that i only call mr hor with "mr" because i respect him and think he is a really great and nice teacher!

uh after that was recess. sort of stoned in class then went out for prawn mee. i love sitting outside! especially when there is no sun! it's so cooling, and i love looking at the 'scenery' at least there is sth to look at right! no ulterior motive gl! LOL HAHA!

after that was... geography. mass sleeping/trying hard to sleep period? reading book i think i sort of forgot already!

chinese was reading newspaper, guanlin is still knocked out for the whole period, wow! i was........ reading some book? LOL. yes. a book. no need to mention what content! :D

after that was maths......... uh. i'm not in acelearning already, what a relief sia. but still, didn't get what the lesson was talking about today, had to concentrate really hard for it! in the end got a bit of knowledge out of it i guess? dl in the end was like, "i know your very efficient chairperson is going to tell me time is up" when i'm just daydreaming, and eve is nowhere near raising her hand? that's weird. o.O

biology practical! no lim leh, very sad. i had to do it on my own, independent! for a few times almost placed the solutions in boiling bath with no benedict's solution, and was stunned when my boiling water overflowed a bit. LOL. i think for me, there is no such thing as a successful practical, even with those very normal details, not even into minute details! at the end siyi and guanlin helped me to clear up, thanks! :)

then had 'lunch' with siyi and then went for training! LOL. i can sort of hear myself asking why am i going again, since i'm there to ultimately stone? but it wasn't really a waste of time today, i did chemistry worksheet! hopefully LALKC will fulfil the goal even though it's not top 5, but i believe it's still a goal anyway!

AND YES. i hate lizards now. okay not to the extent of running 1000000m away when i see one, but yea, i will shout, and will just back away. yep. i'm not scared of it when it's on the wall, but i hate it when it's within 2 metres from me. it's disgusting la! today there was a lizard 'perched' on the sjab room wall, and then stupid bl used a book to hit it and sweep it out. and the lizard was swept right in front of me like shit!!! lihui and i totally screamed and backed away la! it's damn disgusting!

now as i'm typing, i'm super aware that there is a small lizard below the cupboard behind me. when i was moving the fan, it ran out and i jumped in shock. so YES i hate lizards!!

okay i'm tired. time to put songs for siyi yep :) sat's public duty :( but oh well. at least there is cip hours! :)

today listened to cbh talk about universities and everything, and it made me really stressed up. my stomach actually tightened when i was listening! gosh. i always thought my life wasn't about studying, and now my body seems to understand that better. universities, and i am nowhere near anything? ok i know a lot of people will go like it's still early, or try to console me by saying it's ok (EGO!) but the fact is that, all of us must face this cruel truth!

maybe it's just me, or because of my genius brother, i really am afraid i cannot reach my parents' standard... its like many people who cannot reach their desired GPA even though their GPA should be quite satisfactory? i can't say mine is satisfactory, but i guess i improved, that's the most important, isn't it?

okay! anyway, i think my emotions are weird again. i get irritated and sad, and pissed, and happy for no reason. isn't that weird? LOl.

ah. today cca was just grading once more. oh well,it's funny because was chatting with sharonowa and ma'am jiahui. aww. i realised i will be meeting sharon tmr again to crap LOLLl

uh i'm tired. LOL. tmr gonna go school so damn early just for yoga mats........... SIAN! but anyway, i get big breakfast, so i dun mind :) LOL.

omg. I'm like seriously feeling super very sad now. i mean i watched this video of FFX ending, and it was... so damn sad! tidus and yuna should have been tgt from the start, and why must tidus hug yuna, when he himself is like, disappearing? it makes the whole cutsense much,much worse and saddening! :( FFX rules :)

anw, i'm really tired now so i'll just keep this short..

today did some twits with siyi (i'm sorry i can't remember the contents! tmr i take the paper k!) and we were supposed to blog about our personally made twit LOLLLL. i think twit is hilarious, seriously. LOL! and plus it's retarded anyway!

then uh, i was old maid for once today HAHAAH. for once, mind you. :)

and today went west coast park and walked the whole trail and stuff. wow. it was super hot, i wonder how the people are going to survive running that long, especially the guys. :S but my marshal point will be the nearest hehe! so no need walk so long sia!

then went to mac, then went home? yeah played my mp4, and to my dismay i realised the stupid backward button is like, need to press it harder to make it detect, and it made me feel super -.-

i learnt a new emoticon: ^(00)^ LOLLLL. twit :)

ok i'm off to sleep, i'm feeling so damn, dead.

OMG. i downloaded the whole Boys Over Flowers OST! OMG. LOL!

anyway i have been marvelling over the advancement of technology as I played FF1..

and then, we have FFXIII, in other words, it's FF 13

this woman is damn pretty please! and she looks exactly like some idiotically gorgeous lady?

yup, here is to someone (who has been distressed lately about friendship?)

you know, i have a best friend too, and of course i always wish to go out with her. but many times we have different schedules, and different timetables, plus our own obligations and outings with our CCAs, so there are always times that we may not even go out with each other for one whole week in sec 3? yeah. now there's CID, but the tired bus trip is almost all the time quiet and sleepy.

but through this i understood what it meant by "absence makes the heart grow fonder" it's because we don't get to see each other so much, we made it a point to talk on the phone much and everything. it's because we don't get to see each other, we try our best to organize outings, though sometimes it may fail because my parents don't allow me.. but still, i'm still sure of this best friendship because i trust and believe in it. :)

so yeah, i agree maybe going out is important, but you have to believe in your best friend and trust her too. plus you get to sit with her and chat all the time right? i'm sure it will work out greater and stronger :) you may not notice, but to me, she has matured and changed for the better because of you, so it's not that the friendship is not strong! friendship can change the other person you know! i can see you have changed to be more positive and "cute" HAHA! yeah! so yep:)

i have no idea how many years later would you read this, but hopefully, this convinces you that friendship doesn't just exist with the existence of each other but also with the belief :) whenever you ask yourself "who is my best friend?" if that is the person you thought of, at least the belief isn't gone, right? pick up the phone and talk to her, or just talk more? yeah! ok i'm starting to crap more than i need to, but to this person: cheer up, i know you can believe :)

anyway, my com CRASHED again :/ LOL. how many times already arh? LOL. but thankfully i solved it thanks to some restoring thing, so i have to install everything again. so i actually lost all my favourite :'( AHHHHHH. why?!?! i have so many that i want to surf! damn!

anyway, i think my life is near perfect now, if not perfect yeah! firstly, my computer is not down,and i still have my games intact. secondly, exams are OVER! yes i'm damn lag, but the feeling is going away and i can play to my heart's content now :) thirdly, i have a new mp4, though it's that good, but it's not that bad either! i love it okay! fourthly, my parents prove to me that they aren't that bad after all, when i have ok results. fifthly, i love my brother's mattress, and now he's in NS, i can sleep on it all day! sixthly, i think i'm changing my plan to unlimited! OMG. i tell you it definitely makes me DAMNDAMN happy. can you imagine trying to pass a freaking message, and it took you at least 20 messages back and forth to make sure everyone got the message?! eve and i both almost died calling and smsing when we had to pass the stupid message about healthcheckup on thursday!

tmr should be going out, hopefully.. :) HAHA.

my new best friend is ZEN! LOL. i'm joking(:

anyway, something random and funny:

desmon lim was asking me about gl

dl: she sick again (or sth like that)

me: she has some family matters

dl: are you joking or are you serious?

me: (i couldn't help it) i'm joking seriously.

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. what the hell! it kept making me laugh, i'm really sorry to those who completely -.- diaoed away HAHAHA! :D cuz i think it was a private joke with the sj y4 before or sth like that, maybe the fatty sharon bah? LOL. so it's like, LOL. i'm sorry!

yay! anyway i got my mp4 le, my mom gave it to me! cuz my LA was b4 LOL. =.= but still, i'm happy! :D

here it is! :D it's the best thing in my house now LOL.

hmmmm. today was boring, i kept falling asleep especially because chemistry! i mean 1hr 20 mins?! but it was actually 1 hr 10mins cuz nick gave us 10 minutes off :) thanks man!

oh yeah! you know,

our classroom has 2 set of lights, the front and back? the back lights suddenly went off halfway during chem, then it was creepy because according to witnesses the switch flipped up on its own!! :O

then the back lights came on, then the front light went off! creepy man! i was like 'mr ng you sure there's no one beside you?" nobelle was suggesting "mr ng why the guy behind you the tongue so long?" HAHAHHA!

oh yeah we changed sitting positions:( the end of my super funny to the max days le! :( i will definitely miss the DGMs, the nigahiga talks, the jokes and AP we have... :(

now i sit beside chuye and in front of me is yulu and jordyn, behind is jiayi and lihua! LOL. omg i have a feeling it's gonna be really noisy... HAHAHA! nobelle is isolated at the sides, then it's like everyone scattered around :( oh well, siyi and jasmine are sitting tgt! wah kao! shuang de lor!

CID was... just chinese chess. LOL. i duno why everyone loves it so much, weird..

and i realised how a game can show people your character easily o.o

uhhuh, tmr's PE, but i feel like sleeping. :(

alright i gotta go! bb! :D

*dies*

anyway, ytd my mom asked me for results right? she was having some undercurrent meaning, because she bought a mp4 for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. i was like discussing with her my results then she was like if my languages don't get a freaking C, i can get that mp4! at that time i didn't know she bought it already, so i asked her can buy ipod touch (hint, hint HAHA) then she revealed that she has ALREADY BOUGHT IT ONLINE. wow. and it's supposed to be delivered today!!!

walao! so i went around telling everyone "omfg my mom buying mp4!" and i was hoping and crossing fingers my chinese wouldn't fail me... yet. paper 2 was okay, so i'm like totally hopeful about going home, even though i still stayed out late with squad in sjab room... then i reached home, and dinner was on the table.. so the conversation went like this.

mom: oh you know your brother has to submit some applications for his interview...

me: oh okay. -munches on food- anyway mom, my chinese got b3!!!!!!!! 

mom: ok. 

me: ? 

mom: what else you expect me to say?

me: uh.... you said sth about an mp4....? 

mom: oh i not buying le.

me: O.O what? are you serious?! -suspicious-

mom: oh i gave it to your bro le 

me: right! you mail it to him arh?

mom: -.- 

me: what happened to it!!!!

mom: the person haven't deliver they say tmr lor..

me: -heart sinks and emo- 

i was so emo can! i sat on the sofa, and stoned, and then fell asleep LOL. now i'm using computer (obviously) and ahhh! i duno why i'm sad, i can still get it right?! i think i'm worried that my LA will fail me, as usual. my LA is so... horrible. i can't predict anything even though i did my best in it :(  last time i said the same thing and i failed LA. LOL! maybe because it's hooke, ahhhhh anything!!! 

hmmm today ran with jesslyn + bl and i think somehow i'm not so dead leh! ok maybe that's because i'm like... uh... running for 2/3 rounds only? but aiya! my excuse for myself is always: i don't even need to run one, run so fast for what! LOL! then pe was a little disastrous! LOL.

siyi and i group tgt with eve, lihua luqi :D 

it was rather ok, just the punishment round was a little... diao? i duno what to say. we did come and were reminded to be fast and everything, but he still punish? but after that i guess was fun! soccer was sucky la!!! i'm a girl!!! (ok, maybe some of you don't know that :P) 

need to like dribble the ball on the feet, then i keep hitting away and everything, super lan la! i think the best was eve? LOL. HAHA. interesting.. i shall stick with goalkeeper all the way :) 

because our whole group cannot dribble, so we ran one more round! 

so altogether is: 2/3 + 1 + 1 = 4/5 rounds! :) 

tmr running with siyi, i think i die liao hahhaha, she always hiong and chiong then i always die one behind! dreading it......... hahahaha! the rounds in the afternoon were worse than the morning's! oh well, i'm alive still mah! 

hmmmm got back chi? 73/110 = 65% YES.  -punches the air- sorry to people who thinks it's noob, but i'm really very satisfied with it, REALLY satisfied! wheeeee~ :D:D 

cca was oh well, cca. observe juniors' lessons and comment lor. foot drill was really hot, that's all i can say. sharon and i were at the back of the lesson being really serious :) foot drill i sort of loosen up a bit le, plus the appearance of jesslyn made me high LOL! had quite some time ignoring adam and all those anti-adam stuff. (i'm anti-adam, i'm saying it out loud) 

SOME person made me really pissed. i was like shouting at the top of my lungs la! zzzzzzzz. idiot. ZERO effort put in. and it's not s_________. though i know sometimes i shouldn't be so mean and irritated with that person, but it just gets me REALLY angry. how many months already still liddat? i'm usually a very patient person, but i lose my patience at such people. if got effort i can close one eye, but it's obvious people are spoonfeeding that person only!!! pissed off! 

then had last parade and stuff.... then debrief sec ones, felt a little out of place at some times, but i guess it's gonna be the last time the sec 1 see my very horrible face :D going back to where i belong = sec 2~  think i abit gl at some times, but i guess handing over soon le :) 

then talk in sjab room and walk around blahblahblah. :) and read above to see my home activities! 

shit i'm scared of tmr. 

1220 - 1310: LT 1 = business china talk, x-country, Asian youth games

1310 - 1400: classrooms = class contact time (COULD IT BE.....................?) 

shit man, i'm insecure. the letter C sucks. D E F G sucks more and more in ascending order! wait, there isn't a G right? LOL. yep! i'm dying tmr thanks to siyi! :D 

got some of results back. at first i was depressed because all those gotten back before were damn sucky, so i guess it's getting better now? i was stunned when i got some of the papers back because i was so sure i was sucky at it. e.g. chemistry and mathp2 -.- but thankfully everything turned out to be fine :) 

LA: -

Chinese: - 

Math P1: 48/80 (lolllll) 

math p2: 61/80 

biology: 59/90 

geography: 33.5/45

chemistry: 74.444444% (i forgot the marks) 

Omg. i think my hardcore studying paid off for once, ONCE. though geog and chemistry are rather tough luck la, but i guess i should be happy le :D hahahaha! i called my mom just now to tell her my bio marks first, then she totally scolded my ass off la zzzz. anything...

anyway my grades are just for ranting, sorry if i offended anyone by uh trying to show off or sth. i'm just spreading joy:D and on another note, pro people may find this set of grades noob or whatever, but it's great enough for me, so great that i feel so happy with it okay! :) 

today kept playing with nobelle's ipod touch, the games are like damn fun! then it's like, we played until like uh... nobelle's ipod just died hahahaha, the batt's flat! 

anyway after school went to vivo with guanlin and qianhui, then qianhui left for daiso while gl and i went for SUBWAY! :D i love subway. :) cold cut trio! uhhuh, so we just chat and chat.. 

and the cbh days are over, finally. i can remember how everyone was stunned when we saw it's him instead of the angelic miss tan. the whole class atmosphere was like frozen? and i can still remember how cheehin ran away from him when she saw him at the door! HAHAHA. hilarious! miss tan is back, and it's obvious how the 'discipline' of the class dropped from one end of the scale to the other.. but it's not exactly a bad thing, the cbh times was... creepy. reaaaally creepy. 

hahahaha. i think i didn't sleep in class at all today, great achievement! and i'm now using the comp illegally because i highly doubt that my mom would allow me access to my comp with her being pissed with my marks. whatever man, she's making a huge din out of nothing. i remember that there's some idiom for it, i forgot what it is... ah, anything. 

maybe there'll be a day when i wake up and my mom is finally satisfied with my grades. maybe? 

talking about sleeping, i have been having this recurring dream about exams. on saturday, i dreamt that i was having biology test for the next day, and i haven't prepare anything, and i woke up before i got my papers. another time was geography. and i woke up at both times feeling worried, in my half-conscious state, that i could even sleep when i have not prepared for my examinations. it shows how real the dream was! wow, the exam mood is still within me, i see! 

hmmmmmmm. tmr's cca. wonder if i should look forward to it or not o.O 

oh yea! i ran with jesslyn this morning. according to gl who passed by it was slow, but i was panting like shit at the end. i guess it wasn't much training for jesslyn huh, i was so slow!! :(  i think she wasn't even panting or feeling tired? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry! my stamina can't even last me 4 rounds i was dying at the last round, serious. i'm surprised you asked me out to run again when i'm definitely not the best running partner you can find, you must be out of choices hahahaha! joking! 

when i went back to class i just died on my table lol! guanlin was like 'how can you be dead at such a pace?!' and i thought to myself 'how true..' lol! oh no man. i think my stamina + running speed + pace is so lan until i can't stand myself! what if one day there's a tsunami coming and i bet i'll be the first one who dies, serious. i kept coughing my lungs out, and after that my guts... LOL! i think if i had asthma i definitely would have died on the spot :S 

so i decided to run somemore tmr! hahahha! i was surprised at my own reaction. usually i would be like 'walao i suck so i hate it and i won't run!' but somehow there's huge difference in it! :D yay! my mental state is better now!