you know, i used to have a private blog that i scold the f word in like crazy. and ram my heart out. but now, i feel like ramming everything out fucking here.

i failed NAPFA. i failed it so badly. and no one cares. i always felt that being fat isn't the worst part about anything. i always felt that having a useless left leg didn't mean that everything was over. i thought i could live life as per usual. i thought i was still... normal. but everything proved me wrong. i couldn't do sit-and-reach. i couldn't do standing broad jump. i couldn't even do that fucking shuttle run. what is wrong with me? everyone encouraged me, but my heart really ached. and i felt like breaking down. it was not like it was the first time i failed in pe, i told myself. but it was the first time i failed three stations in one go. i felt so useless. fuck life.

i went to vivo with jiarong cherie weiting annies and this junior guy called weiyang. okay. it's quite weird lah. masked. then i kept a straight face and announced to the world that i failed my napfa. fine... i did. then i went home with cherie and talked as per usual. distractions aren't too bad. then i reached home. then my mom asked me how was my napfa. i almost cried. a little more and i will leave that fucking glistening tear behind. she even asked me why i failed this time but not last year. i totally shouted (maybe cherie heard it a few doors away) "you are like asking the most obvious question in the world."

i really want to amputate. LOL. timothy, don't be freaked out. i will tell you before i really did. :D

happpy news: maths, bio test all over. yay! i went to vivo and pranked called. i love my manly voice. :D

when i put on a fucking happy face, don't take me for granted. i feel worse inside. fuck life. and fuck you.