Monday, March 03, 2008

I SWEAR - PARENTS ARE THE WORST THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME YET.

-i am gonna shout the f word out, so if you don't like it, get lost.-

fuck la. what kind of parent are you. your daughter has been in pain for the last year, but you turn a deaf ear to everything she says, and you think you are being so noble to massage her leg when it doesn't help a fucking bit. i am a fucking timid person, so you don't see me packing my things up and leaving the house okay. i swear, i will kill myself someday to make you see how much you have hurt me before. i am gonna die before 40 anyway. wadever. wait, haven't you heard that aquarius are all rebellious creatures?

everything hurts in me. my leg, my ankle, and my knee. every part of my fat left leg hurts. for one year. i have to envy those who could do sit-and-reach. i have to envy those who don't get the sudden spasms at night. i have to envy those fucking creatures who could bent their body down to pick up their items, when i have to squat for it. i hate this. i want it to end. i don't want to be so weak, hurting every night beofre a rainy day. i wan to see someone who could explain my leg's condition. or amputate my leg for me. anything. just get rid of the pain. i wan to try and pass NAPFA. i wan to know why am i training rounds every week, instead of knowing that i will fail NAPFA if i pass 2.4 or not. i wan a reason why i need to know the next day's weather, in exchange for extreme pain every night. tell me god, if you do exist. what have i done?

i hate my life. i hate my leg. i hate my family. everything sucks. just go away. i wish someone could give me the courage to stand up against them. if only my mom didn't have stroke. if only i could muster the courage.

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