today i feel alright, but very loner. lol.
today was not as humiliating as i expected, because i only did that dreaded sit-and-reach in front of 2 people. i could feel my voice getting sad when eve asked me which is my hated item "sit-and-reach" was my answer. NAPFA will suck as much as this, i'll bet. I went to the grand stand on my own and i changed on my own. lol. i dunno what's wrong with me.
English test is crazy. i only wrote one page of words, and all crap and nothing else. shit ass lah.
gorilla made us stand for the whole lesson, but my leg hurt so badly i had to search my whole bag for my painkillers. it was then i realised, it was my last painkiller pill. i had no more at home that will work for me. my test is still alright, but i felt it was out of pure luck that i passed.
Chinese was okay. i didn' sleep at all, but nobelle was dozing off beside me. then mdm. guo came and kind of grab her head and start shaking it and asking her why she so tired. when she walked away, nobelle and i decided to hold her as an idol:)
Biology was crap. crap. lol. jay chow so toot lah.
CCA was nothing, because i was NOT ALLOWED to go. like what the fuck. i swear, parents are the worst thing that happened to me. really.

LOL. i was looking up about my weird leg in the internet and i stumbled across this yahoo question page:

PERSON: i have this regular problem with my knee, but my doctor can't help me.... (i know, it sounds like my condition)

REPLY: you are fat, aren't you?


I was laughing my head off when i saw it. LOL. maybe that's my problem. right, then i am really dead.

hello:D
hahaha. i finally changed my freaking com, and it's quite fast now. i am like super happy, though my bro got a laptop that is super sweet and fast and it's windows vista. mine is only XP, but i am happy with it already. what's more, i am thinking of indulging myself in some manga series called rosario + vampire. it sounds a little o piang, but i think it will make a good series. supernatural lah:) i think the vampire is super pretty though:D:D

heh! tomorrow is going to be "die-die" day. i have PE tmr, which will be training for NAPFA, but please lah, how am i supposed to pass it? Sit-and-reach is going to be humiliating. urgh, i am like so sian diao when i think about it. i want a doctor. plus, there is english test tomorrow, and i totally forgot how to answer questions according to the text. i only remember you can't lift from the text-.-lll

it's going to be flag day SJAB!:D yay. but seriously, i like flag days a lot, like DAMN lot. i like the tin cans, and i like the people behind this. plus this time, it's for the school! external activities i oso like lah:) but die die le. i am going to die on the spot liao. my leg hurts again. RHEUMATISM. i dunno why like this lah, and i am trying not to give a damn about it.

walao today damn bad mood i dunno for some fcuking reasons. -.- damn emo and quiet, especially after geography. i realised going home alone isn't as bad as it seems...:) running alone in the morning isn't that bad after all either. suddenly i realised lonliness is not as bad as it seems. believe me, it feels good to be left alone at times. it's just a little embarrassing when people ask you "huh, where is ________?" and you only can smile and make a face, then leave the scene.

wow, jiele sent some link to this website of a short story book. it's so damn touching, though i hoped i had more time to spare when i am reading it, because i was like chionging thru it like some bull, cuz my families members are checking up on me so regularly. that's because i failed my english, and they are afraid i will retain. though it's not impossible:P

i miss my old class so much. yesterday, jiarong, jasmine, brian and junhao and me are like highing and laughing our heads off in 3J. lol i think we were damn loud and noisy. paiseh. i really miss 2L can. sigh, i only hope class chalet will be coming soon, though i know it is in june. AWW. <3

i am starting to be patriotic, singing national songs for no reason:D

urgh! i miss 2L like siao. it's just suddenly it hit me like a boulder can like BANG! i miss 2L.
and i was like 'god... i still didnt get over it.' but i don't mind becase i know a lot of others miss 2L as much as i do, or more than me. :) i miss dickball(though it isn't a good sight) and i miss so many stuff too. i missed the chinese lessons then, when i get punished almost every lesson for not doing any work. :( and i will grin a little or start looking emo and pissed. i miss the times when minni goes crazy and start zi-highing, though i can't deny she still do lah. (she knee-ed me in the butt the other day, and annies just slapped the same portion before her. conclusion: i think my right butt is swollen:P)
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walao lah! ytd i spent the whole freaking day waiting for the stupid com to finish copying my bro's stuff, then we proceeded to formatting at like 9pm?! from 2 to 9 is copying info period lah. my bro went to play his ps2, and i was watching him play his soccer(i must admit, it is nice when you stare and you actually KNOW the game.) on ps2. then my mom came along and started scolding me for lazing around wadever shit. then i just ignored her and continued to sit there stoning. then she came and scold me again for not listening to her. then my dear goodie brother just snapped at my mom
"She deserves a break too what. study so long le." and i am super happy he said that. but i just surrendered and went to kitchen table, faced my boring hw, and closed the door behind me:D act of rebels. i stoned for 2 hours and my parents went out, so i opened the door again and watched my bro play happily.
then when we were formatting, we had to wait for like 30 minutes for the thing to format, so my bro went to play his ps2 for a while while i sat there, smsed, and reminded him the progress (gor, 20%. now 50%!) yeah. then my mom got pissed again and started scolding my bro for 'not keeping tabs on the com" and my brother was so damn pissed and practically shouting
"do you expect me to stare at the com for 30 minutes doing nothing?! since mei(me) is free, ask her to keep track only what!!"
then my mom was pissed too and changed the topic to her favourite one. "why you always talk to me so loud? OFF YOUR COM AND GIVE ME BACK YOUR COM since i paid money for it." the coolest part is that my bro completely ignored her.
then she started rambling about being irresponsible and ignoring her. then my bro said
"when did i do that? you always say i ignore you, but i always get your things done! you tell me lah!" my bro challenged my mom.:P
"today i ask you to help me with my hp you keep telling mei to do."
"i was playing my game, she is free. of course i ask her lah. if she was studying for her exam, obviously i will pause my game and help you, because whatever i am doing is insignificant to what she is doing. plus she is the former user of your phone, so she would know what to do."
i dunno why, i like this sentence very much from my bro (insignifiicant)

then my mom started pestering my bro whether he did format my dad's drive. my bro responded no, then she ask again. then my bro said louder, no. then she nodded and 10 minutes later, she asked the same freaking question. then my bro snapped NO. then she another 5 minutes ask again, and plus she started scolding him for deleting my dad 's partition which is ridiculous because my bro had been screaming he didn't delete. then my bro just snapped louder he didn't delete. then my mom started rambling about DELETING THE FREAKING PARTITION. then my bro just snapped "why you keep asking me the same question? i said NO le."pls lah. if i wee him i would be shouting at my mom's face le. who in the world ask the same quesiont and ignore the answer and assumne she is right. only my mom,. i guess.

then my bro his formatting got error cuz he accidentally formatted 3 in one go. then my mom found sth else to pinpoint at, and this time. phyllis comes to the rescue.
mom: see lah, if you didn't play your ps 2 then you won't have this problem le, i told you le!
bro opened his mouth furiously to rebut-
me:P : (calmly) mummy, he made a mistake not because he was playing his ps2, but because he formatted 3 in one go. -mom ignore me-
mom: why you (to bro la) talk to me so loud? fine lah. i buy you things you talk to me so loud>!
me: mommy, you have to stand at gor's angle. if you were him and you are trying hard to concentrate on sth, then someone keep asking you the same question, obviously you will be pissed right.
bro nods.
mom: you don't talk so much ok. shut up, it's none of your business. ( to me.)
me: (mutters the f word under her breath) fine lor. WADEVER.

then my bro argued with my mom like crazy. i think this had been the best quarrel the house had for a LONG LONG time. and my bro and i keep defending each other!:) i damn happy lor. because somehow i felt the bond between my bro and i because we were defending each other. usually my bro ignore my plight de:D

good friday indeed:) but in the end i didn';t get my com back, xO yeah. sigh!

walao is italy that fun? faster come back sia.

for some reason, i felt really sad today. maybe because my leg problem is back, with more hits. i was so in pain after school i neglected zijun by keeping quiet the whole time, and i left her on 61. sorry zijun. i wish i could do sth about my leg. and well, here i am rambling again. we have come full circle. LOL. to all my friends : if you ever get sick of me rambling about this, don't read it!

oh yeah. i am so scared for NAPFA. i am gonna fail. anyone betting against me?

and ia m obssessed with a new anime. clannad! the quality of the drawing is fabulous, and i like the opening theme. it gives me a final fantasy feeling. in other words.... KINGDOM HEARTS. gosh i watched the opening for h 2 and i am going crazy over it again. walao leh. this never ends!!

and i tld keng hwee so proudly that i am one who gets satisfied easily. LISTEN UP!

tips to please me - i mean even if you don't feel like reading, it's worhth a read:
1) on a cold day - give her a glass of warm milo, with more powder, and more condensed milk!
instant noodles work well too!
2) on a hot day - a tall glass of ice lemon tea will work just fine. coke or cold drinks is ok
3) when she is doing work, and cannot think of anything - a lollipop (preferably coca cola)
4) when she feels tired - give her milo, warm!!
5) when she feels angry - "aww c'mon. let's do something else" she will get distracted fairly quickly:P
6) when she is pissed over parents - agree with her about it
7) when she is indecisive - let her think about it. (do you realise we are offpoint?)
8) when she is sian - talk to her, or give her a nice book to read

there you go, the tips to be in my nice list:D

i feel so sad for both of them. neither of them deserve so much. seeing her cry so badly is so heart-wretching. and she tries to be strong and smile, but the tears still roll down uncontrollably. lemme ask : what did they do so badly to deserve all this? demerit will affect their entire future. call parents will kill them on the spot, and telling them NOT TO TALK is really unreasonable. there are previous incidents, but why didn't the others receive the same punishment? there was one couple that are SCs too lah. the saddest part is talking to her, seeing her laughing(red-eyed) and trying to be strong. nothing beats that. i can't say i am super close to her, but her emotions can be seen in her eyes. i don't fear the punishment they may come in future or not (since i am still single) but i now hate the way they are handling this. it's unreasonable, and i always tot mistress is very reasonable! she cried so badly, it was helpless looking at her cry. and i always tot God existed. (urgh. why do they have to make life so difficult for us? i don't see clementi town having the same stupid problem)

I love lollipops. oh yes. did you know that my family bought 18 cocacola lollipop from batam? because each lollipop only cost 700 rupiahs, which is about 60 cents? 1000 rupiah is 75 cents!:DDD
now, whenever i need ideas or need vocabulary, i would go to my kitchen and dig out some lollipops to eat. you might be thinking "god, that's gonna end with a diabetic case!" but i don't care! i completed my bio RNW with one lollipop ok! and it looks okay, just that my person reflections didn't last half a page, because by then i finished my lollipop, and i was quite idea-famished.
i miss 2L. it's just a sudden feeling i had. i love 3J too, of course, but i miss the bunch of guys playing dickball all the time, and somehow, i miss my old seating arrangement behind qh and felix. though i was almost always bullied, but it was fun and entertaining still:) i am sure qianhui has the same sentiments. 3J is of course fabulous, of course. But i guess my life changed for the worse since i turned sec 3. i miss my old... class, and classmates, and friends! but life has to go on! i have to make new friends and try to move on. i will keep in touch, of course!
I wan a class chalet, for both 3J and 2L. <333
today went to queensway with jas annies and chuye. sadly chuye was dragged along because annies stole his pencil box and refused to give it back until we left. we left fiarly early, i guess. i reached home at around 5.

shit ass. my GPA is a sucky 2.9. maybe you are thinking "wtf is your problem? i got this....". but it comes down to my parents' expectations. i failed my english terribly (35/100)- an F9. this pulled my already quite sucky grades down into the drain. all thx to my review. whatever lah can. i was quite pissed with myself for not putting any effort into putting the damn papers with my drafts. but everything is already over, so no point dwelling over it. lol. i haven't showed my parents yet, because i am still pondering on how to explain for my failure in english, when my most common used language was english. damnit. i need to explain why did the "she has the potential to do better" thing come out. pls lah. if you dunno me, don't anyhow write can. it will cost a life sometime. don't think writing this kind of crap all the time will get you out of writing a comment can? i don't care who wrote this, but it will cost my life VERY Soon. i NOT suaning anyone, seriously.

I am BACK from batam! haha.
i was almost stranded at sea okay. the boat's engine halfway kana water inside, then the boat enginneers go fix it, and the boat was left (engine-less) drifting at sea!! omg. beginning the whole trip was okay, then when it was about half an hour later, something HIT the boat so hard the whole boat shuddered and almost fell over okay. omg la. then we drifted with the HUGE waves so badly then i almost got seasick okay. ouch. the waves WERE HUGE. the boat was rocking side by side so hard a few people stood up to see what's happening!! i was holding to my seat and praying nothing will happen, because my life IS NOT going to end like this! lol. but i am still blogging now, means i am okay. the engine turns off and on for some time lah, and it officially failed us when we were near sentosa i think. then we drfited there for about erm... 15 minutes? then the engine roared to life again!:D
batam was BOOOORING. god. it's all eat, shop, sleep. i think the part i liked most was the sleep part. i was in this 4-star hotel and i found it super nice! the bedsheet was very warm, and there's a bathtub!!:D:D i love bathtubs lor. lol! the tv has a lot of channels!
the eating part is okay bah. the food ain't fabulous, but it's super cheap!
the shopping part sucked. we went to like 3 shopping centres, and got nothing much back, but a pair of slippers (i like) then some cheap old tee shirt costing 2 dollars.-.-
i went for massaging. it's really erm. i dunno what to say. i was so dumb can. damnit! lol. ask me for more details:(

HAHAHA. yesterday was choir concert.

The choir was fabulous okay. the guest school was not bad and was VERY loud. i guessed our choir wasn't so loud because we performed in two parts:D i totally loved the finale ok. i could be doing the same as them if i weren't in the middle of the row!:D i think choir the dress is super elegant lor. Jiarong wear looks not bad la. (i dun praise people unless necessary!)

then got break then jas qh zj and me made a lot of noise and tried to say hello to jr but everyone very quiet... :(

i asked my father fetch me home then i missed his car then he horn me a few times. then he scolded for me letting him horn and wait a few seconds all the way home.-.- right... paranoid old nosy banshees.

GOD! i am back from UG camp. i realised a few things:

firstly, i suck at carrying things. on the 1st day, we were supposed to run about with our barang barang, but i kept dropping things, and i was like in front, so i blocked everyone behind. i heard a few curses sometimes and it made me embarrassed can. i don't wanna bring so many damn things. it was stupid to bring so many bags here and there la! i should have brought one SUPER large (XXXXXXL) bag to put all my stuff in. besides a lot of things weren't used.

secondly, excessive exposure with xinmun proves to be dangerous!! on the 3rd day, we were sitting at the tables staring forward at each other. we were supposed to look impassive and stare forward. then i started laughing and shaking with laughter.I DUNNO WHY OKAY. then william started laughing, then linda started laughing, then xinmun started laughing. no order in the 1st laughiung person. sometimes the trigger is from looking at wiliam impassive face, sometimes it is because william was laughing because i was trying not to laugh. sometimes it was because linda was laughing(i dunno why) and i can't stop my laughter either. sometimes it was better when xinmun starts laughing. we only could stop when all of us stopped, if not everything will start all over again. the seniors nudged william when he started laughing when the camp i/c was greeting the sirs/ mams. LOL!!! ROFL. i think it started after campfire actually.

thirdly, i am so positive that sec 1s are either cute or innocent! look at one example - timothy. god. he takes a few seconds to respond to your sentence!! LOL.

fourthly, i am seriously sucky. i suck at so many things. for example, my leg ached like shit on the 1st day, then i took painkillers, then at night i didn't take because i was afraid the painkillers would make me sleep and i couldn't wake up for fire drill. i woke up every 15 minutes to look at the clock actually! i was sleeping beside olivia and cindy i think. the night was cold. then my leg was trembling when we stood at attention. god i was so scared my legs would just give way suddenly! but still.... okay.

god i was so embarrassed on the last day when we were doing the evaluation form can. tmothy asked me for my name because he want to write down for the 2 sec 3s he think very enthu and stuff one la, but i bet you a few million bucks that he only know me and xinmun and olivia, and olivia left the day before so he forgot to include her instead. then others were like staring at me when he asked, and i was like... embarrassed, because i was not even considered a good enthu member yet can. i was like running slowly, doing things slowly, dragging people down, forgetting to do stuff like teaching sec 1 ro be i/c. and i am actually super slack. urgh. i feel so embarrassed now okay!! don't say things like "woah that means you r good wad" because that would make me feel more toot, and more embarrassed okay! - to those who don't know how slack i am!

:D:D:D:D hahahaha. i actually survived UG camp can... but i guess it was okay bah.

I SWEAR - PARENTS ARE THE WORST THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME YET.

-i am gonna shout the f word out, so if you don't like it, get lost.-

fuck la. what kind of parent are you. your daughter has been in pain for the last year, but you turn a deaf ear to everything she says, and you think you are being so noble to massage her leg when it doesn't help a fucking bit. i am a fucking timid person, so you don't see me packing my things up and leaving the house okay. i swear, i will kill myself someday to make you see how much you have hurt me before. i am gonna die before 40 anyway. wadever. wait, haven't you heard that aquarius are all rebellious creatures?

everything hurts in me. my leg, my ankle, and my knee. every part of my fat left leg hurts. for one year. i have to envy those who could do sit-and-reach. i have to envy those who don't get the sudden spasms at night. i have to envy those fucking creatures who could bent their body down to pick up their items, when i have to squat for it. i hate this. i want it to end. i don't want to be so weak, hurting every night beofre a rainy day. i wan to see someone who could explain my leg's condition. or amputate my leg for me. anything. just get rid of the pain. i wan to try and pass NAPFA. i wan to know why am i training rounds every week, instead of knowing that i will fail NAPFA if i pass 2.4 or not. i wan a reason why i need to know the next day's weather, in exchange for extreme pain every night. tell me god, if you do exist. what have i done?

i hate my life. i hate my leg. i hate my family. everything sucks. just go away. i wish someone could give me the courage to stand up against them. if only my mom didn't have stroke. if only i could muster the courage.

ytf was flag day, ad i completely regret going for it. at the end, i was left with a aching leg(again it rained today!). we waited for the cans for like 1 hour?? standing in the shelter witht eh rain blowing into our faces!! then we toook mrt from one side of singapore to the other - from bukit batok to dhoby ghaut! hahahah!we did the flag day outside of the buldings in the drizzle!! god, how cool can that get? then a few people gave me more money needed because of our 'passion'. but it was boring. BOOOOORING.

then i can't believe it, we were like the last few to go back to bukit batok can! i tot teacher saied we can come anytime we want?! wadever! then the ladies there were like 'why so little? your friends got more!' walao. one more time from the malay personnel i will smack them in their faces can!! we did the flag day IN THE RAIN while they slack under shelther? so unfair can, and plus they got so much money for sitting there for hours. where got people like this de? you got one dollar is better than nothing right? it's so irritating can. we are helping you peopl and the poor people, but you expect more than it is supposed to do!! unfairness.

my leg was aching again after the flag day!! then i called my mother to ask if i can go with weiting to the polyclinic for checkup(maybe if mc if i am lucky) then she don't allow?! wtf.. for one year my leg like this le, and i only saw one doctor who gave me some painkillers and some muscle relaxation pills. big deal la. obviously i won't recover!! then at night i convinced my parents to take me to a doctor, but they refuse again. what am i to them?